DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRL AND A WOMAN

Greetings to everyone who believes in love... And everyone who knows that love is worth holding on to. I trust we are all doing well this fine week. Love has a very interesting way of inspiring us to be the very best we can be and I trust that the challenges inherent in our various relationships not withstanding, we are learning that love is a beautiful gift that we must give our best and our all, to nurture and preserve.

I have been receiving a lot of messages from my friends and readers. Some like the one below, are not questions but assertions out of someone's experience. I thought I should share it and perhaps know what you think. At the same time, I think that some of the lines (edited to suit the instant context) could serve as litmus for men to be properly guided, so they understand the implications of the decision they make to be in a relationship with a certain kind of lady (and not run away all of a sudden after a few brushes); and for the ladies to check themselves and know what kind of aura they exude and why they might feel they deserve more than they are getting and yet might never get it. May I add that I am doing a write that provides a balance to this piece in a post titled "The Difference Between Men and Boys"

Girls search for a rich man, Women search for a caring and loving man

Girls envy those who move ahead and hate the players; Women share their knowledge and help others move ahead by not hating the players but teaching the rules to the game
Girls measure a man's worth by the weight of his pocket; Women measure a man's worth by his level of Wisdom and the fear of God and how disciplined he can be towards his finances.
Girls breakup with silly excuses; Women have endurance knowing that everything happens for a reason
Girls think about the present; Women think about future
Girls love to have many guys going after them; Women know the law of demand (Cheap things have high purchasers)
Girls take their relationship affairs outside; Women solve their problem in-house...
Girls demand for money to buy make-Ups; Women demand for money to make plans
Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it; Women know that, that was just ONE man

Girls will read this and get an attitude; WOMEN will read this and pass it (SHARE) on to other grown women

I am still thinking about all the lines, but I must admit that we all have a thing or two to learn out of this.

Blessings and more, to you and yours

SHALOM

RELATIONSHIP 101: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Greetings to everyone who believes in the impact that loving and being loved can have on their lives and the lives of the people around them. I trust that you are all doing well, and things are picking up really well for you in 2013. Best wishes to us all.

Relationship 101 is going to take a while longer than I anticipated to finish. To everyone who has sent messages to me on some of the issues already raised, I thank you for trusting me enough to share your issues with me. I was more excited though, about people who had one form of disagreement or the other about what they read; and about the fact that we were able to resolve it and agree that the mere fact that people refer to certain situations as ideal, does not mean that they are unachievable in reality. We are what we think, what we decide, and what we make out of the situations and circumstances that characterize our lives.

Too tall, too short, too dark, too light, too skinny, too fat, too this, too that…

One of the greatest problems relationships have these days hinges on complex. Complex about how we are and how we are not; what we are and what we are not; what we have, and what we have not. We hate people laughing around us because we feel they are laughing at the way we are; we are afraid to mingle or participate in certain kinds of activities, because we are too timid to be ourselves. A lot of us carry this behavior into our relationship(s), such that we are unnecessarily cautious and touchy with people we love:

"He didn’t talk to me like that because of what I did wrong, he just can’t stand my size (or my looks)…everybody hates me. I’m just not good enough…"
If you feel this way, don’t bother about going into a relationship yet. Let us deal with that complex before it destroys both you and any other thing you love, cherish, and encounter.
Most of the times we feel that people treat us the way they do, because of the way we are, or because of the things we are not, so we build a defense for ourselves, which culminates into aggression that most times are misplaced. 

Once the greatest appraisal of yourself is based on people's opinion of you, you will always take the backdoor even when you are not asked to; and even when there is no back door, you will create one, big enough to contain you. Now you want to be someone else, because you feel or believe that it will make you more acceptable to people.

It is not about who people think you are. It is not even about who you think you are. It is about what God has made and what He can make you.

To be continued...

RELATIONSHIP 101: Are You Ready To Be In a Relationship?

Greetings and a very happy new year to everyone who believes in love. 2013 has started very well and will add a lot of value to everyone's life both in lessons and achievements. There will be challenges, a reminder that we live in an imperfect world... But we shall thrive in this imperfect world. Continuing on Relationship 101

 

You must not be in a relationship if you cannot handle it. It is not a trial and error situation. We seem to have found the right phrases to justify our irresponsibility these days: “I will keep trying till I find the right person” And sometimes the cost of this is a lot of earthquakes, floods, hurricane, and explosions generally; or “we just want to try and see if it will work out." And sometimes I wonder why it takes a lot of cheating, and a lot of general mess to find out that YOU ARE IN FACT NOT MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Think about it.

You are not ready for a relationship, merely because you are old enough to be in one.

Age is just a numeric appellation, used to distinguish those who were born in a particular year or period, from those who were not.

So when are you ready for a relationship? Or rather, when are you not ready?

- If you are in a relationship merely because all your friends are, then you are not ready.

- If you are in a relationship because everyone expects you to be in one, then you are not ready.

- If you feel you know it all and you do not need a guide, you are not ready.

- If you are mama’s boy or daddy’s girl, and relationship to you is simply how your family sees it, you are not ready.

- If it all depends on your folks and their choice, you are not ready.

- If you have a lust-problem, and you lack self-control; and you feel there is nothing wrong with it, you are not ready.

- If you do not see the other person as being worth all the trouble and sacrifice, you are not ready.

- If you cannot just stop thinking about yourself only, you are not ready.

- If you have a complex problem, and you think that is the way things should be, you are not ready-“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”-Booker .T. Washington.

- If you believe that it is safer to lie to your spouse, in order not to lose him/her, you are not ready. “What you compromise to get, you might ultimately loose”.

- If you cannot get over past mistakes and traumas, if you are just looking for a cushion to rest on after a broken heart, you are not ready.

To be continued...