The Audacity of Loving And Being Loved...

The audacity of loving and being loved,

 has nothing to do with how much you can absorb pain caused by loving and being loved, 

but has everything to do with your ability/resolve to agree to continue to love and be loved, in spite of the pain that love causes you to go through.

Blessings and more, to you and yours

SHALOM

Don't Be Afraid To Love Or Be Loved...

Warmest African greetings to all those who believe in love and being loved; those who trust that they shall find love; and those who trust that love shall find them.

Love is an awesome privilege. It is made beautiful in a relationship, and it finds expression when we connect by allowing ourselves to love and be loved. However this wonderful experience of loving and being loved makes people afraid.

Those who are afraid of being loved appreciate what they receive but will never understand how anyone can give another so much power to hurt them and hold on to only the hope that they don't.

Those who are afraid of loving cannot understand why anyone would risk committing to another who is equally as fallible or even more fallible than they are, all they have, are and hope to be, uncertain about altering their lives for someone who might ultimately not value them.

But this is the wisdom of loving and being loved: Faith is necessary for thriving in the now... It gives audacity to hope. It stops you from being preemptive and teaches you patience, 'cause nothing destroys a beautiful relationship faster than the torments which the fear of the unknown brings.

Besides, fear is not the only thing that the unknown is capable of bringing; the unknown can also bring the palpitations of joyful hope.
 

So I ask, why choose to fear when you can hope? 

Blessings and more, to you and yours.

SHALOM

To Find And Be Found By Love...

Friends,

When someone comes into your life, who will never leave you no matter how hard it is to stay with you; love has found you... and you have found love

Blessings and more, to you and yours...

SHALOM

Difference Between A Boy and A Man...

Warmest African greetings to every one who believes that fighting to keep love alive is a good fight. I am so glad about the feedbacks I am getting from the people who got copies of the books. It's wonderful to receive the comments you have sent to me, and I am so thankful that the books are adding value to your lives and relationships.

I promised that there will be a sequel to the difference between a girl and a woman. It is right here now, before you. Enjoy, learn and share:

A BOY keeps a password on his cell phone while a MAN is confident enough to say "baby can u answer that for me"!! A BOY runs the streets & chill with his friends while a MAN is enjoying time with his woman planning ahead for their future! A BOY complains about spending too much time with his woman, a MAN plans vacations & getaways because he is wise enough to notice tomorrow must be planned for! 

A MAN takes responsibility for the challenges in his relationship, A BOY runs away from reasonability once the challenges ensue… A BOY says “Whose baby is that?!” A MAN says let’s go see your parents. A BOY says “Am not ready for this pregnancy now, A MAN says “don’t worry dear, we’ll get through this together”...

A BOY says “baby let’s go clubbing” A MAN says “baby let’s go to church”. What a BOY considers as risks, a MAN considers as priority…A MAN pays attention to the needs of his woman, A BOY is selfish and wants to be the one the sacrifice is made for.

A MAN goes into a relationship because he is ready; A BOY goes into a relationship because he feels he is old enough.

A BOY runs from the consequences of the choices he makes, A MAN sticks with his choice irrespective of the consequences that proceed out of it.

BOYs abuse their spouses and use money as a weapon of control, MEN love their spouses and stay true to their commitment, no matter the challenges they encounter in the relationship. BOYs are covenant breakers; MEN are covenant keepers.

A BOY thinks that the quality of respect he enjoys from his spouse is based on how green or otherwise his bank account is and will always loose his confidence when he is broke; A MAN knows and is confident of the fact that money is not everything and so is neither intimidated by it nor is he going to loose his confidence merely because he is broke.

A BOY is always keen to prove a point about himself and what he is capable of doing, A MAN is only keen about proving himself. A BOY feels that he should only love and not accept to be loved, because he believes that allowing himself to be loved is a sign of weakness; A MAN allows himself to be loved as much as he loves because that makes him complete and not weak…

My question is, are you a BOY or a MAN? And, are you in a relationship with a BOY or a MAN?

Blessings and more, to you and yours.

SHALOM

Your Sacrifice Will Show Your Willingness To Make Love Work...

Warmest African greetings to everyone who believes that loving and being loved is worth it. I feel very honoured anytime I have the opportunity to write on this blog and share thoughts with you on matters relating to our relationships. I am also glad to say that your text messages for copies of the books mentioned in my last post were received and the last two were shipped off by the morning of last week Thursday. Please don't forget to write and say you have taken delivery of the book.

You can make love work, if you want to...

I always say to my friends, that relationships work if the people in it want it to work. Our willingness to make our relationship work is always expressed in the sacrifice we are willing to make in order to sustain our relationships. This truth is absolute whether the difference between the parties in the relationship hinges on ethnicity, socialisation, profession, background, age or religion.

And on the issue of what the bible says about relationship with someone of a different faith, a lot of people speak of the statement of Paul that "we should not be equally yoked with unbelievers, for what connection does light have with darkness..." as their standard, I dare say that while we should not engage in contextual theology debates, we serve a God who in His sovereignty can alter any principle which may have held sway among people, no matter for how long. He got Ruth, a Moabite (one of the descendants of an incestuous relationship between Lot and one of his daughters) into the genealogy of Jesus, same with Rahab the prostitute, who lived on the walls of Jericho (reference: Matthew 1). You can also see the story of Samson and his Philistine wife (see the conversation between Samson and his parents in Judges 14:1-4); and the relationship between Hosea and His wayward wife... (See the book of Hosea).

No two relationships are the same irrespective of the similarities we might see. God does what He pleases, and we must do well to submit to Him as we ought, i.e., on His terms, and not on ours.

One thing is important, that one is located in the centre of God’s will as He (God) holds the blueprint of our lives as far as the reason for our creation is concerned. We make choices everyday and they always have consequences. Even when those consequences look so grievous that we become uncertain about the choices we make and how they connect to God’s will for our lives, always trust that the will of God will never take you to a place where His grace cannot sustain you.  If God is in it, God will see you through. Best wishes

Blessings and more, to you and yours

SHALOM

Wage A War For Love...

In the name of love (lol), I ask that you forgive me friends, for my silence and absence. I have been working on two very important books; "The Loved and Her Lover" and "Making Sex Work Even When You or Your Spouse is Sick". I owe much thanks to all of you who checked on me through facebook, twitter and whatsapp and left messages on the relationship page, wondering why I disappeared, where I disappeared to and whether I was giving up on  my assignment. Thank you for believing in me and the words I share with you.

I have in turn, set out ten copies each of the titles you see below, for anyone who hasn't seen or read them (shipping at my expense), just to say that I am grateful to God that my life has touched yours, and that my works have added value to your relationships:

- Before You Get Married

- Be Inspired By Great Marriages, Aspire For God's Will

- Sex Without End 

Please text (don't call) your name and details, plus the book you want to +233246273798, and you will get a copy of the book shipped to you. Errrrm, offer subsists only while stock lasts o! lol.

Till you grow old

This is the month of WARS!!! Believe me, the best kind of lives are the lives we fight for. People throw in the towel when they face challenges and confrontations. But I will have you know that challenges don't go away merely because you ran from them... They wait for you at another bus stop, and just when you think that it's been dealt with by virtue of a previous breakup, you see it staring at you all over again.

Fight anger, fight hate, fight bitterness, fight competition, fight dishonesty, fight the lack of accountability, fight insensitivity, fight falsehood... Resist the urge to talk carelessly or use your strengths and the needs you respond to as a weapon of control against your spouse, believe that what you have is beautiful. Your relationship is a miracle, refuse to look beyond your miracle to see flaws. Instead, look beyond flaws to see that your miracle is still a miracle. A gift from God never stops being a miracle. Make communication a tradition in your relationship... Realise that communication is not just about what is said and done, but also about how they are said and done. Strike enough balance to give your relationship the attention it deserves.

There is no one without a weakness or a flaw to deal with, even you. Love might not have it all and neither do you... Forgive just as you desire to be forgiven, understand just as you desire to be understood, love just as you desire to be loved. Give love the life it deserves and it will grow and bring you joy. There are always two options: understand the implications of being in the kind of relationship you are in, and make the amount of sacrifice necessary to sustain your relationship. You can also choose to run away, and believe me, once you do, you will always encounter a circumstance that will keep you running.

You don't need love to sustain a relationship. You need sacrifice... And when sacrifice is inspired by love, it makes the cross easier to bear. To love and be loved are free, but they are not cheap. No... Not at all

Greetings to everyone who believes that love is worth the war we wage for it. You might not find love among your kind, and it might not come in the package you always dreamt (or dream) about, but love will happen to you. And when it does, don't let it go... Fight for it, Fight to keep it. Do that which you ought to do. Love will always win. 

Blessings and more, to you and yours...

SHALOM

RELATIONSHIP 101: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

Warmest greetings to everyone who believes in love and is willing to pay the price to make love work. May love speak for you and yours, and even when the road is rough, may you trust the light of love  to lead the way for you.

Continuing with our talk on relationship 101, it is important that we pay attention to the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made...

If God would let us take a small peep into the future, we will be shocked to discover how perfectly the way we are, fits into His plan for our lives. So anytime you try to do something to change the way you are just because you are ashamed of it, you are actually saying that God is not as wise as He says He is. You will always get into trouble when you try to be somebody else, and anyone that tries to duplicate himself/herself (or anyone else for that matter) in you, does not attach value to who/what God has made you.

You have a complex problem when you cannot celebrate yourself; when you feel that everyone is better than you are. Soon, if you do not already, you will hate yourself, and then you will begin to blame God.

Instead of trying to change how God has created us, perhaps we should work and pray to change, by the constant renewal of our minds, certain characters and traits that we have which are unacceptable to God, and are potential destroyers of our relationships. 

Build up yourself to the level where you become trustworthy and reliable, then you will be in yourself a MIRACLE! And believe it or not, a miracle no matter the imperfections it may seem to have, is still a miracle, and there is someone (somewhere) who will love you enough to sincerely thank God for his/her miracle, despite those things you see as flaws.

Anyone that cannot stand the way you are (in terms of your size and looks), neither understands nor appreciates the wisdom of God in your life; and if you continue to hang out with them, they will eventually kill the very essence of God in you.

To be continued...

Blessings and more, to you and yours

SHALOM