I speak of forgiveness from the angle of the one who caused the offense.
Forgiveness is really important... It is about the strongest pillar for every relationship. But there is something stronger and more important than forgiveness. Yes there is! And it is called support.
Forgiveness is not sought after merely because one says or said "I am sorry" to another. Forgiveness is a process... It involves healing, mending, rebuilding and restoration.
Forgiveness is not as important as support. People don't ask for forgiveness because you want them to, they ask for forgiveness when they are ready for it. Ready for it in this sense, because they first need to realise and recognise the fact that they have erred, then they must deal with the guilt of their mistakes or else, the trauma of that event will weigh your relationship down. So until they are ready to ask for forgiveness, they need your love, your care, your patience, your understanding and your support, to keep them going.
Support helps you realise and remember that there is still love at home, and that the love, which you can easily fall back on is always within your reach.
Never take support away from the one you love. Never let the pain caused by love to define your relationship (and your behaviour towards love). Believe that your role and your part can sustain your relationship until the one you love comes to his/her senses.
Don't switch off or disconnect from love in anger or bitterness. And if you can support the one you love even in the midst of the pain of offense, then you are truly one who loves as he/she is meant to.
Blessings and more, to you and yours.
SHALOM
