RELATIONSHIP 101: Relationship Is a Responsibility...

Greetings to everyone who believes in love. We are here again at the season when a lot of people take a break from work to be with friends, family and every other person(s) who matter in their lives. I have been desirous of finishing this series that I have tagged "relationship 101 before 2012 runs out. Talking about 2012, I would like to specially thank God for everyone who has stopped by this blog; for every relationship that has been healed or strengthened by the words shared here, and for every life which has been touched by the activities on this blog. 

Your joy has been a great blessing to me... Your simple words of "thank you" have been some of the greatest pillars in this year to me. The fact that you keep coming doesn't just mean to me that I am making sense; it also means that I am not crazy to believe that loving and being loved are not just possible, but are blessings that everyone must experience. 

There is so much to be thankful for as far as 2012 is concerned... And today, I am thankful for every relationship which through this blog has sustained, despite the challenges they have had to encounter. Love is a beautiful thing.

Today, I write to share with you, the fact that we must begin to see our relationships as "a responsibility" and not just something that comes with responsibilities:

We ought to be getting wiser now. Time has passed when one is considered responsible by virtue of how he looks and what he wears or drives. Responsibility is also not synonymous with marriage. It is not a stranger that bumps into you at I do’s doorstep, or a wrapped gift that piles up with the other gifts at your marriage reception. Rather, what has to begin and prepare you for marriage is a training process. 

Responsibility is not just being able to take care of the needs of your spouse and children, it is the maturity to know when to do what you ought to do and how to do them; the maturity to know that you should not disregard, disrespect, take for granted, cheat, molest, or abuse your spouse (or your children) in any way-thinkable or unthinkable.

One thing that is a constant so far is that a relationship (no matter at what level or bus stop) is in itself a responsibility, not just something that comes with responsibilities. You have to be prepared for it, or else you will wreck a lot of lives, and ultimately your own.

To be continued...

Blessings and more.

SHALOM

Sour Grapes...

Greetings to everyone who believes in love, and expects to find or be found by love. It has been a very interesting season in my neck of the woods... I stay in Ghana, and I have had quite a lot of issues going on in my head. I didn't have the inspiration to put those thoughts together on paper, so I waited. Finally, this morning it hit me, so I am breaking my silence on the issue of the "accident of birth" and the price people pay sometimes for being born to a certain family belonging to a certain ethnic group, nationality,  faith or political ideology.

This morning, a young man called me and informed of his decision to divorce his wife because they belonged to different political parties... By the way, in Ghana, you have two leading political parties, namely; the NDC (National Democratic Convention, which is the present ruling party and the party which was declared as winner of the 2012 presidential elections by the Ghana Electoral Commission); and the NPP (New Patriotic Party, which for now is not satisfied with the declaration of the EC, believing that there were irregularities in some quarters and is desirous of going to court to context the declaration of the NDC as winner).

So this young man from the NDC calls me to say that the misunderstanding he had with his wife who is of the NPP has reached a point where their relationship as far as he is concerned has broken down irretrievably, and he desires to move on with his life, without her... Without her? Is it worth it? Is throwing love away out of loyalty to an ideology worth it?

Much worse, is when people quarrel, tear themselves apart and ultimately make decisions which will have generational consequences, because they disagreed over an opinion or an ideology.

People have been denied the opportunity to love and be together forever, because their parents or relations had issues way back before they were born. Why should anyone make someone else suffer for issues he/she didn't have to play a role in.

Hatred and bitterness expressed through stereotypes become the new theories we propound, just in order to impose our interest and hardheadedness on innocent young people whose heart have bonded together in love. They suffer for a sin they didn't commit, and carry a burden they didn't create, all because they were born in a certain home, to a certain couple who had certain viewpoints about life and living...

I ask again, is it worth it? The thing we destroy in order to have our way especially in the lives of other people, who we claim that we love... Is it worth it? Why should the teeth of the children be set on edge, when it wasn't they that ate the sour grapes?

Tell a friend to tell a friend, that living for love and in love, is a better way of living...

Blessings and more

SHALOM

RELATIONSHIP 101: A Relationship Is a Covenant...

Greetings to all who believe in love; blessings and much more to all those who are in love; courage and best wishes to all those waiting to find love or for love to find them; and to all those wondering whether or not love works, I say warmest greetings to you, and I trust that love will encounter you in a very special way.

Continuing with my thoughts on relationship 101, I would like to say that we must learn to look at our Marriages and relationships as covenants and not as contracts.

Usually, a contract is what it is because among other things, people in it are expected to specifically perform the responsibilities they have agreed upon to perform (which are in themselves the basis of the contract and the benefits they hope to derive from it). Where these responsibilities are not performed, the defaulting party is held to be in breach of the contract. At this point the party who has suffered this breach (in law called the injured party) is free to terminate the relationship and just walk away.

A covenant on the other hand, and as we see in the works of God, is between two people as well, but the focus is hardly on whether or not the parties are doing to or for each other, what they have promised to do, but on the fact that one is doing what he is supposed to do in the covenant, irrespective of whether or not the other party is honouring his part or responsibility in the agreement. 

The basis of what we do in marriage or in our relationships, is not about the fact that the other party is doing what you expect him/her to do, but about what you are expected to do and whether or not you are willing to do it, in fair and/or harsh weathers. A bad spouse might necessarily give rise to the other's disloyalty to the relationship, but this is not God’s standard.

This maturity cannot be compromised. Get it, imbibe it; 'cause it is only then that you can make the appropriate measure of sacrifice(s) necessary to sustain your relationship. It also helps you to have realistic expectations and prepare yourself to manage the offenses which will come up in your relationship (and they will surely come) wisely. Think about it.

Blessings and more

SHALOM