RELATIONSHIP 101: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Greetings to everyone who believes in the impact that loving and being loved can have on their lives and the lives of the people around them. I trust that you are all doing well, and things are picking up really well for you in 2013. Best wishes to us all.

Relationship 101 is going to take a while longer than I anticipated to finish. To everyone who has sent messages to me on some of the issues already raised, I thank you for trusting me enough to share your issues with me. I was more excited though, about people who had one form of disagreement or the other about what they read; and about the fact that we were able to resolve it and agree that the mere fact that people refer to certain situations as ideal, does not mean that they are unachievable in reality. We are what we think, what we decide, and what we make out of the situations and circumstances that characterize our lives.

Too tall, too short, too dark, too light, too skinny, too fat, too this, too that…

One of the greatest problems relationships have these days hinges on complex. Complex about how we are and how we are not; what we are and what we are not; what we have, and what we have not. We hate people laughing around us because we feel they are laughing at the way we are; we are afraid to mingle or participate in certain kinds of activities, because we are too timid to be ourselves. A lot of us carry this behavior into our relationship(s), such that we are unnecessarily cautious and touchy with people we love:

"He didn’t talk to me like that because of what I did wrong, he just can’t stand my size (or my looks)…everybody hates me. I’m just not good enough…"
If you feel this way, don’t bother about going into a relationship yet. Let us deal with that complex before it destroys both you and any other thing you love, cherish, and encounter.
Most of the times we feel that people treat us the way they do, because of the way we are, or because of the things we are not, so we build a defense for ourselves, which culminates into aggression that most times are misplaced. 

Once the greatest appraisal of yourself is based on people's opinion of you, you will always take the backdoor even when you are not asked to; and even when there is no back door, you will create one, big enough to contain you. Now you want to be someone else, because you feel or believe that it will make you more acceptable to people.

It is not about who people think you are. It is not even about who you think you are. It is about what God has made and what He can make you.

To be continued...